A Beautiful Nightmare
by SLSNOUATTLKFAN
Summary: After initiation Tris and Four get ready to train the new initiates. Four and Christina convince Tris to get over her sixth fear, when she finally does she is more than ready to train initiates, but a little something gets in the way of that.
1. Chapter 1

I'm in love. I can't help it, but whenever I'm around him I just can't help my heart beating faster, and I'm at a complete loss if words. I'm in love with Tobias Eaton. The best part is he's in love with me too. Everyone knows about it. My best friend Christina teases me about it all the time. Me, Christina, and her boyfriend Will were all sitting in the cafeteria. I kept looking around for Tobias to see if he was coming but every time I looked there was no sign of him. "Calm down Tris, I'm sure your boyfriend Four will be here momentarily." Christina jokes.

"Shut up." I joke back.

"Yep that's my girl, the jokester, and she hates moths." Will smiles. Christina playfully hits his shoulder and she leans in for a kiss. This is my time to turn away.

"Oh come on Tris, it's just a kiss, it's not that big a deal. Will and I never think it's awkward when you and Four are together." Christina smiles.

I stand up and smile. "That's a total lie Chris. You always make fake vomiting noises and Will always does that eyebrow thing. You always act so disgusted when we even kiss." I exclaim.

Christina starts to laugh, and Will cracks a small smile and points behind me. My face grows hot as I think of something. "He's right behind me isn't he?" I ask. My question is answered by two hands wrapping around my waist. "What was that you were saying Tris?" He asks.

"Um, nothing." I say in a high pitched voice.

He chuckles and leans in, we kiss for a few seconds and then it starts to get a little deeper. "Ok love birds don't get carried away." Christina jokes.

We pull away and I glare at her. Will and her burst our laughing and soon Tobias has joined them. After breakfast Christina and Will leave me and Tobias. He smiles and takes my hand and leads me to his room. We sit down on his bed and just sit there smiling for a few seconds. "I love you Tris." He whispers.

"I love you too." I whisper.

I lean in and we start kissing. Tobias lays down and I fall on top of him and he starts kissing my neck. I sigh and close my eyes. He starts to lift my shirt up and my eyes snap open. I quickly stand up and he sits up. "I'm sorry." He says.

"It's fine." I say. But I don't wanna stay there anymore. I look at him once more before hurrying out of the room.

By the time I get back to the dorms I'm crying. Actually not really crying I just shed a few tears. "Tris, what happened?" Christina asks putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Did Four do something? Did he hurt you?" Will asks. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"No, guys it's fine, I'm fine." I tell them.

Just then Tobias runs into the room. Christina glares at him. "What did you do to her?"

"Chris, I said I'm fine." I say.

"Tris, be honest with me, did he hurt you?" Will asks.

"Will, I already said no." I tell him. "He wouldn't hurt me."

"Really? Because he threw a knife at your head." Christina points out.

"It was my ear actually." I correct.

"Whatever, just what do you want us to do?" Will asks.

"Leave." Tobias and I say at the same time.

Christina and Will look at us one more time before leaving the room and closing the door. I look up at him. "Tobias..." I start.

"I'm sorry Tris," he interrupts. "I didn't mean for that to happen, I just..." I cut him off by kissing him.

"Tobias, it's fine." I smile.

"No, it's not." He says.

"Yes it is, just let it go alright ." I say.

"Tris, I love you." He says.

"I know, I love you too." I smile.

"You know I'm not just in this relationship for sex right?" He asks.

"You're not?" I ask.

"No." He says shocked. "Tris, I'm in this relationship because of you. Everything I've done since we met is because of you. I love you. I love your strength, your courage, everything."

I lean in and kiss him. Just then I hear a fake vomiting noise. I look up and see Christina fake vomiting and Will doing the eyebrow thing. "Really?" I ask them.

"Really." Christina states.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Um, can we talk to Four alone?" Will asks.

"Um, ok." I say as I walk out of the room.

Christina POV:

After Tris leaves I turn to Four and cross my arms. Four looks down at his shoes. "Four?" I ask. He looks up at me. "What did you do to Tris?" I demand.

"Nothing, you heard her she's fine." He says. He tries to leave but Will blocks him.

"Come on Four, Christina and I leave the two of you alone and she comes back in tears." Will says.

Then I realize something. "OMG Four, did you and Tris have bad sex?!" I ask.

Will and Four look at me, horrified. "No." Four says.

"Are you sure because it would make since, Tris likes you, the two of you had sex, it was bad, she came back in tears because she was expecting it to be better." I say.

"Chris, I think we both know, that isn't what happened." Will says putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Yes, thank you Will." Four says.

"Don't thank him, just tell us what happened." I say.

"Alright, fine, we were just kissing and I tried to take her shirt off and she just ran out of the room. I guess I just thought she was ready when she wasn't." Four mumbles.

"So in other words you tried to rape her?" I ask.

"Absolutely not. I would never do that to Tris. I love her." Four says.

"Just remember Four, wait until the girl is ready. That's what I'm doing." Will says.

"Great, can I go now?" Four asks.

We nod and he leaves. "Do you really think that if they have sex it would be bad?" I ask Will.

"How should I know?" Will asks.

"I don't know, let's go." I say as we leave the room.

Tris POV:

I stand by the chasm listening to roar of the water below me. "Hey Tris." Tobias says as he walks up to me.

"Hey." I say as he leans in to kiss me. "What did they want?"

"They wanted me to tell them what happened." He says.

"Did you tell them?" I ask.

"Yes." He mumbles.

"TOBIAS!" I scream. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"Ok first of all you know I prefer to be called Four in public because other people don't know my real name. And second of all if I hadn't of told them Christina would still be thinking the two of us had bad sex." Tobias says.

"Ok, wait a minute, we had bad what?" I ask.

"Bad sex." He says.

I roll my eyes and he leans in to kiss me again. I kiss him until, of course, another interruption. "Ugggg get a room." I look up to see Molly.

"What about you and Drew?" I ask her.

"What about me and Drew?" She glares.

"You too like each other don't you?" I ask.

"Shut up stiff." She barks.

"I'm not Abnegation, so I'm not a Stiff either." I say.

She rolls her eyes and walks away. "Ok, probably shouldn't tease her." Tobias says.

"Yeah, I'll just stick to Christina and Will." I joke.

He laughs and I join in. "Ok it's getting late, I better get back to my apartment." I tell him.

"Ok, goodnight." He says.

"Goodnight." I say as I kiss home again.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you more." I tell him.

"That's impossible." He says.

"No it isn't because I'm doing it." I say.

"Goodnight Beatrice." I laugh at the fact that he uses my real name.

"Goodnight Four." I joke.

We kiss again and we go to our rooms.


	2. Secrets and Lies

A/N: thank you to captaincati for reviewing chapter 1! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I open my eyes and my immediate thought is Tobias. Then I notice Christina standing over me. "What are you doing in here?" I ask her.

"Good morning to you too Tris." Christina says sarcastically.

"Morning." I say.

"Are you excited?" She asks.

I pause, "for what?" I ask.

"To see your boyfriend Four." She says and bursts out laughing.

"Oh yes, super excited, are you excited for tonight?" I ask.

"What's tonight?" She asks back.

"Oh, you didn't know." I say looking down.

"Know what?" She asks.

"Ok I was talking to Four last night and he said that Will told him that he's planning something special for the two of you. I just assumed you knew." I told her. And this is all a complete lie but she kind of deserves it.

"OMG, do you think he'll ask me to have sex with him?" She asks.

"Do you want him too?" I ask her.

"Well, I mean I love him but I don't know if I'm ready." She says.

"Well just tell him that if he asks." I say as I get up. I start to feel bad but she deserves it for always teasing me about Tobias so I let those feelings go.

At breakfast Tobias is holding my hand under the table, Will is eating, and Christina keeps glancing at him and smiling. Each time I try to hold back laughter. Tobias looks at me and raises is eyebrows. "I'll tell you later." I whisper and he nods.

After breakfast I explain my prank to Tobias. After I finish he begins to laugh. "That's really cruel, but funny because she deserves it."

"I feel a little bad because when she finds out she might hate me. But then I'll explain why I did it and how she deserved it." I smile.

He laughs and puts his arm around me. I lay my head on his shoulder and just sit there for a few minutes. "Four and the stiff sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g. I look up to see Molly and Drew.

I smirk and grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him. I let him go, smirk once more at them, and walk away. "Hey stiff." I hear that mocking voice say.

I sigh, "what do you want Peter?" I snap.

"Ok Miss Snappy." I roll my eyes when he says this. "I just wanna talk."

"About what?" I ask.

"About your boyfriend, Four." He smirks.

"What about him?" I ask.

"Four is obviously just a nickname. And I thought considering you're his girlfriend you'd know what his real name is." He says.

"Yeah I know what his name is." I say.

"So, what is it?" He asks.

"Why do you care?" I ask back.

"None of your business." He snaps.

"Well then what his name is, is none of your business." I snap back.

He leans in and whispers, "tell me Stiff, or I swear I will make your life a living hell, I will also tell everyone about your fear of intimacy." He smirks.

"How do you know about that?" I ask.

"Four told me." He smirks.

"What?!" I ask.

"Yep, I heard him checking the list of fears everyone has. I specifically heard him say, 'ok, so Christina is afraid of moths, Tris is scared of intimacy.' I left before be could get any further. So since he told me a big secret of yours, why don't you tell me a big secret of his?" Peter smirks again.

Anger boils inside me. Tobias needs to be a lot more careful. The words come out of my mouth so fast I can't stop them. "Damn it Tobias." I quickly cover my mouth but it's too late.

"Oh so that's the legendary Four's real name, Tobias. I heard that in Abnegation there's a man named Marcus Eaton who had a son named Tobias who he abused. Is that son Four?" Peter asks. I look down and Peter laughs. "Oh this is rich, golden. See ya Stiff." He says as he walks off.

I just told my enemy my boyfriends biggest secret. He's going to kill me. That's when I hear it. "TRIS!" He shouts. I turn and look in his direction. "WHY WOULD YOU TELL PETER THAT?!" He asks/screams.

"I didn't mean too, it just slipped out." I tell him.

"Slipped out? Slipped out? How can something like that just slip out?" He asks.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"I'm sorry? You just told Peter my biggest secret and all you have to say is I'm sorry? I trusted you." He says.

This makes me mad. "Peter found out from you about my fear of intimacy." I say.

"I did not tell him about that." He defends.

"When you were reading off the list Peter heard you say that was my fear." I say.

"Excuse me Tris, I was just doing my job." He says. "I have to read them out loud to get them recorded."

"Well try closing the door." I snap.

"Oh he did. I just put my ear up to the door." Peter says.

"So Four was abused by his father, that's the only reason he came to Dauntless? Was to get away from him? And he has the nerve to call me a coward." Al smirks.

Suddenly I feel bad. Tobias looks at me sadly and then glares and walks off. Peter smirks at me and walks away. So this was his plan? Getting Tobias mad at me? That is cruel. I look up to see everyone staring at me. I hold back my tears and grab Christina's wrist to drag her to my apartment.

That's when I started crying. "How could I be so stupid Chris?" I ask her.

"Tris, everything's going to be fine." She says in a comforting tone.

"No it won't. Tobias hates me." I sob.

"Tris he doesn't hate you. He's just mad." Christina says.

That's when I begin to feel bad about my prank on Christina. "Chris there's something I have to tell you." I say.

"What is it?" She asks.

"This morning when I told you about Will and tonight. I was lying, Will isn't planning anything. I was just tricking you because you kept teasing me and Tobias." I say.

She stands up and I think she's angry. But when she turns around she's smiling. "I know what you're thinking, why am I not mad?" I nod. "Well normally I would be but you're right I kind of do deserve it and you're already upset. I'm just glad you told me before I made a fool of myself in front of my super sexy boyfriend." She giggles.

"Yep I am super sexy." Will says entering the room.

This makes me laugh. They know just how to cheer me up. "So should I go talk to him, or let him cool off?" I ask.

"Give him a few more minutes." Will says.

Will says this at the exact same time Christina says "Go talk to him."

"Ok now I'm even more confused." I say.

Just then Tobias walks in. "And thats our cue to leave." Christina says as she and Will leave.

I look down at my shoes as Tobias walks over to me. "Tris." He says. I don't look up at him. "Tris." He says more sternly. I look up at him. "I'm not mad anymore Tris. I'm not happy but I'm not mad. It's just...I mean I know why you told him." He says. I look at him, confused, he speaks up again. "You could either tell him my secret or let him tell everyone your secret. It's ok." He says.

"I didn't choose to tell him. He said that he heard my secret from you and the words just came out so fast I couldn't stop them." I say

"Well what did you say?" He asks

"'damn it Tobias.' I swear I didn't mean for him to hear me." I tell him.

He looks at me, studies my face for a few minutes then smiles. "Ok." He says.

"Ok what?" I ask.

"Ok, I believe you." He says.

"So you're not mad?" I ask.

"No, I'm mad but not like before." He smiles and leans in, I kiss him.

"Awwwwww, you guys made up." We pull apart and see Christina and Will.

"Ok, you guys really need to stop that." I say.

"Sorry." Will says.

"So if you guys could leave, that would be great." I joke.

"Of course." Will say. "Come on Chris."

"Fine. Bye lovebirds." She smirks and she and Will leave.

Tobias looks me directly in the eyes and takes my hand. "I love you Tris." He says.

"I love you too Tobias." I say. I lean in and kiss him.

As we kiss I think about my fear. I love him, I know he'd never make me do anything I'm not ready for. I don't know what I want. I pull away and smile. "I have to go talk to Christina." I say.

"Ok," he smiles. "I'll be waiting here."

I leave and find Christina and Will kissing. I clear my throat and they jump apart. "Really Tris?" Christina whines.

"Really Chris." I smirk.

"What's up?" Will asks.

"Can I speak to Chris? Alone?" I ask.

"Of course." Will says and leaves.

"What's up?" Christina asks.

"I want to talk to you about, boys." I say.

She gasps, "Omg really?!" I nod. "Tris, what is it?"

"How do you know if you're ready to have sex with someone?" I ask.

She looks at me and chuckles. Um I'd ask Shauna, you know how she and Zeke are." She says.

I smile and go to find Shauna. "Hi Tris." She says once I find her.

"Hi, listen I have to talk to you about something." I say.

"Ok, what's up?" She asks.

"Um, how did you know when you were ready to have sex with Zeke?" I ask shyly.

She smirks at me, "Why do you ask Tris." She asks.

"Um, no reason, just wondering." I say nervously.

She laughs, "oh, Tris that's is so adorable."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just answer the question." I roll my eyes.

She laughs again and says, "it's not really something you prepare for, I guess you just...know. So do you think you're ready?"

"I don't know." I say.

"Well if you say you don't know you're probably not ready." She says.

"But I do want to." I say.

"Well you can say you want to, but just because you want to doesn't mean you're actually ready." She says.

"Ok, thanks." I say.

"You're welcome, and come and tell me when you are ready." She says.

"Why?" I ask.

"So I can have an excuse to tease you, duh." She says.

I roll my eyes and go back to find Tobias.


	3. From Seven to Six

Thank you to DistrictDemiGod, goKoko, and captaincati for reviewing chapter 2! Just so you know this chapter is the main reason this story is rated M...my friend thought I should put in a lot of...description. I don't usually write this way so that's why it's not very...well...good. But I hope you enjoy it anyway!

As I walk back to my apartment I hear people talking. That's not unusual so I just continue walking. But then I hear my name, I'm not usually one to eavesdrop but I heard my name so I wanted to hear what they were saying. I peek around the corner to see Eric talking to Tobias and some of the other instructors. As I listen this is what I hear.

"What do you see in that stiff Four?" Eric asks.

"I don't know, she's...different." He says.

I hear someone scoff and say, "Four, she's not pretty. She doesn't have boobs, she looks like she's twelve."

I hear laughter, I peek around the corner to see Tobias laughing with them. I feel my eyes fill with tears. Tobias is laughing, he must agree with them. He thinks I'm ugly and small. Maybe those things are true but it really hurts so much more when it comes from the one you love. I want to go back and talk to Chris about this. But then I realize to get back to the dorms I have to walk past them. I try to wipe away my tears but fail. I gather up my courage and walk. As I pass them I try to avoid eye contact. But Tobias sees me. "Hey Tris." He says.

"Hi." I say. I try to get past him but he notices the tears.

He grabs my arm, "hey, what's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say as I try to pull away.

His grip tightens as I try to pull away. "Tris, tell me." He begs.

"Four." I snap. My harsh tone is enough to make him let go and step back. "I said nothing's wrong, so don't worry about it and leave me alone."

I run to Christina and Will's apartment. After initiation Christina and Will moved in together. Tobias never asked me to move in with him so I didn't. I run in and see Christina sitting on the bed with Will. They both smile when they see me but their smiles fade when they see I'm crying. "Tris." Christina says standing up and rushing over to me. "What's wrong?"

"Four." I sob.

"Did he hurt you." Will demands. I nod slightly. Will glares. "I'm going to kill him."

"Will wait." Christina stops him. "Tris, how did he hurt you? Physically or emotionally?"

"Emotionally." I cry.

Christina grabs my arm and takes me to the bed and the three of us sit down. "Tell us what happened." Will says.

After I tell them Will is outraged. "I'm going to kill him."

"Will don't. I'm fine." I say.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Ok, but say the words and I'll kill him." Will says.

At that minute Tobias walks into the room. I glare at him. "Tris?" He asks.

"Get out!" I say harshly tears coming again.

"Tris, please what's wrong?" He asks.

"You heard her, get out." Will says.

"No. I want to know wants wrong." He demands.

"You alright!" I snap at him.

"What did I do?" He asks.

"Four, just get out." I say.

"Tris." He says again.

"Four, she had told you twice now to leave." Will says.

"Will, maybe we should just let Tris tell him what happened." Christina says.

"Chris." I say.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Will asks.

"No." I say.

Christina looks at me then back at Will. "Yes." She says and the two of them leave.

I stand up from the bed and start walking towards the door. But I think Tobias saw that coming, he grabs my arm to stop me. "Tris, please just tell me what happened."

"I don't want to talk to you." I say.

He sighs and takes me to his room. He sits me down on the bed and stands in front of me. "Just tell me." He begs.

New tears begin to come. He sits down next to me and wipes them off. He lightly presses his lips to mine, and quickly pulls them away. 'Awww, why did he stop?' I ask myself. 'Oh right I'm mad at him.' I remember.

I sigh and say, "I heard what you and the others were talking about." I say.

"What?" He asks.

"You agree with them don't you? You think I'm ugly and small, I know that's true but it doesn't help me get more confident like you and Chris are always saying if you laugh about it with Eric." I start crying again.

"Oh, Tris that is not what I meant." He says.

I glare. "What the hell?"

"Tris, the only reason I was laughing wasn't because I agreed with him, it was just the way he said it. 'She doesn't have boobs.'" He says in a really bad impression of Eric. That makes me laugh a little. "Tris, I don't care about…breast size." I laugh at his loss of words. "I love you. And you are the most beautiful women, not just in Dauntless, in the whole world."

I kiss him, 'I want him but I'm scared for him to see my body, to see how small I am. He says he doesn't care but I do. I love him but I'm scared. What if he's lying? What if he really does care? I don't want to loose him. What if after he sees me he changes his mind? Stop it Tris, stop thinking that. He loves you, you love him. That's right, we do love each other. He would never hurt me, I trust him. I shouldn't be scared of him. But I just can't convince myself. It's not fair, don't get me wrong I want him. But what I want scares me. I shouldn't be scared.' I break the kiss and he looks at me. "Tris, like I've said a million times, I want you but I'm willing to wait as long as you want."

"Tobias," I whisper. "I want you."

He smirks and kisses me again. I breathe in deeply. 'It's ok Tris. You can do this, he won't hurt you.' He lays down and I fall on top of him. I put my hands on the hem of his shirt and lightly pull it up and take it off, I then throw it across the room. He brings his lips to my neck. He puts his hands on my hips and begins to run them up my body taking my shirt with them. At first I'm not even paying attention but then I realize what he's doing. My eyes snap open and I take my hands from his neck and yank my shirt back down. "Tris," he mumbles against my neck. "Don't, I told you I don't care about breast size. I love you." I close my eyes again. 'Come on Tris, don't be such a pansycake. This is Tobias we're talking about. It'll be ok.' I open my eyes and he looks at me expectantly.

I take one more deep breath and nod. "Ok." I whisper.

His look says he's unsure. "Are you sure Tris?"

I nod again. "I'm sure."

He places his lips to mine and then my neck. He places his hands on my hips and begins to gently run them up my body taking my shirt with it. I gasp but I don't pull my shirt down. I let him bring my shirt over my head and place it on the floor. My lips still on his I begin to remove his belt from the belt loops and throw the belt off the bed. I pull his pants down and kick them off. He doesn't make any movement after I do this so I begin to remove his boxers. I place my hands back around his neck so I take his boxers off with my toes and kick them off the bed. Tobias unzips my pants and pulls them down, taking my underwear with them, then he puts his hand on my back and unclips my bra. I pull away from him. "Tris." He sighs.

"Sorry." I mumble. 'What the hell is wrong with you Tris. We've already discussed this whole pansycake thing. Don't be such a wuss.'

"Tris if you're not ready.." He starts

"I am ready, I just get nervous." I say.

"It's ok." He says.

He brings his lips to mine once more. He gently removes me bra. I stop breathing for half a second. I breaks the kiss and looks me dead in the eye. "You're so beautiful Tris." I smile at him and he flips us over so he's on top. "Are you sure you're ready Tris?" He asks.

'Ok Tris, it's ok. You've made it this far. He's seen how small you are. The hard part is over, well not really because you still have to go through a tiny bit of pain, but the part you're scared about is done so you can do this.' I look up at him and nod. He kisses my head and places his forehead to mine. I feel the tip at my opening. I feel him begin to gently slide it in. All is fine for about two seconds until I feel it. It's a sharp pain that makes me flinch. "I'm sorry, go slow." I say. I feel it continue to go in slowly. I feel the same sharp pain, I gasp this time. "Sorry." He whispers.

"Sorry, go slower, really slow." I say.

He continues to push in even slower then before. All of the sudden the pain is released by pleasure. He looks down at me. "Ok?" He asks.

I can't speak so I just nod. He smirks and thrusts into me. I gasp at the wave of pleasure that overtakes me like a shock of electricity. He grunts and I moan both if us out of pleasure. My back arched each time earning loud moans from both of us. I'm just hoping nobody could hear us. Probably not, it's late, everyone's probably in bed by now. I gasp as I feel him climax, both of us breathing hard, he rolls of me. "Wow." Tobias gasps.

"Yeah." I say trying to catch my breath.

"Thank you." He says.

"No, thank you." I say back. "For helping me get over my fear."

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I say.

I lay my head down on his chest. 'Good job Tris. You officially now only have six fears. I guess now you really can be called Six.' I laugh to myself at that and slowly drift off to sleep.


End file.
